Why "Should" is a Dangerous Word to Have in Your Vocabulary

You feel like you should be doing more: more exercise, more blogging, more schoolwork, more painting, more poetry, more shopping, more shifts at work, more cooking, more adventuring in your city, more spontaneity, more routine.


I call this mode of thinking the Should Monster. And once the Should Monster gets inside of your head, it can be pretty damn hard to get it out.

You can live with the Should Monster for days, weeks, even years and decades, without realizing it. Because school teaches you how you should behave and your parents tell you that you should get a job and go to college and college teaches you that you should suffer for four plus years to get a degree, and who cares if you even like what you're studying? Employers say you should have experience before applying, who cares if you're applying for your first job. Companies tell you that you should spend your money on their products and objects.

So how can you get the Should Monster out of your head? By learning when it's popping up. The first step to changing your patterns of thought and behavior is being able to observe them and know when they're present. Then, every single time you feel the Should Monster talking to you instead of you talking to you, you have to make the conscious choice to say "I hear you, Should Monster. But I'm going to do something else."

It can be tricky because it requires a lot of effort on your part at first. But like any habit, the more you say no to the Should Monster and start reclaiming your life for you, it'll get easier and easier until the Should Monster is a distant memory. Because the Should Monster feeds off of your fears and what other people have told you you should do with your life/money/free time etc.

It's time to do what you WANT to do, not what you think you should do. 

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